For the love of public restrooms everywhere, why aren’t touchless features an all-or-nothing deal? If the toilet flushes on its own, can we please have soap, water, and paper towels magically appear with a wave? And if we’re stuck with manual flushing, let’s stick to using levers for the whole shebang. No mixing it up here.

And yet, that’s rarely how it is.

Sensors or Senseless?

The other day, I was out having a meal when nature called. I excused myself to the ladies’ room, and there it was: the automated toilet. All was fine until, whoosh, it flushed before I sat down, pulling my carefully placed paper seat cover down the drain. Admittedly, it’s a minor inconvenience compared to balancing on one foot to stomp a flush handle with the other. That feat to flush gets riskier every year.

Next, to wash up. I wave my hands under the soap dispenser, relieved when suds fill my palms. Other times, I wave under, over, and around these devious devices. I look like one of those inflatable tubes dancing in the wind before I realize I’ve got to push a lever to get a lather. I’ll take this victory, but the show isn’t over.

I wave my soapy hands under the faucet, and nothing happens. A friendly stranger walks over, pulls the handle, and water flows. I humbly nod and quickly rinse. For my final act of defiance, I wave my dripping hands around the paper towel dispenser. Nothing. Duped again, I reach inside and yank out a paper sheet.

I often wonder if hidden cameras are capturing our wild hand-waving antics, minus the toilet part, for decency’s sake. It could be a TikTok sensation, or perhaps it already is.

In Plane View

Before you balk at the idea of cameras in private places, consider the giant windows in the restrooms at the Southwest Airlines terminal in Denver. Thankfully, the toilet stalls are offstage, but the sinks are in the spotlight.

These unique restrooms made headlines when they opened in 2022, and a pilot even posted about it on TikTok. She confirmed from the cockpit of her plane that the restroom windows are two-way, allowing the pilots and passengers to see you clean up.

While I take a selfie in the mirror over a public restroom sink at Denver’s airport, I wonder who’s watching from the plane parked outside the window behind me.

Since I live in Denver, I frequently fly out of this airport and have used these restrooms numerous times. But even after three years, it still feels a bit eerie to see planes over my shoulder. I always think twice before leaning into the mirror to check my teeth; my audience might wince if I pick at food particles with my finger.

As long as they’re watching, though, they might as well place bets on how long it takes people to figure out that the faucet is touchless, but the soap and paper towel dispensers are manual. I’m sure the designers did this purely for entertainment purposes.

I’d love to hear your experiences and thoughts on the subject. Please comment below.